The Local Crank

Musings & Sardonic Commentary on Politics, Religion, Culture & Native American Issues. Bringing you the finest in radioactive screeds since 2002! "The Local Crank" newspaper column is distributed by Community Newspaper Holdings, Inc.

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Location: Cleburne, Texas, United States

Just a simple Cherokee trial lawyer, Barkman has been forcing his opinions on others in print since, for reasons that passeth understanding, he was an unsuccessful candidate for state representative in 2002. His philosophy: "If people had wanted me to be nice, they should've voted for me."

Monday, September 11, 2006

Back Then

On September 11, 2001, I was in court in the old Civil Courts Building in dowtown Fort Worth. I think I heard on the radio just as I was arriving that a plane had hit the World Trade Center, and I was immediately reminded of the Army Air Corps bomber that crashed into the Empire State Building in 1946. It wasn't until much later in the morning that I overheard other attorneys discussing the second plane and the second tower, and then my reaction was, "Please God, don't let it be one of us again!" I was thinking more in terms of Timothy McVeigh than Osama bin Laden at that point. The attorney on the other side of my case said he had a relative in New York. We negotiated a settlement, but by that time the building was being evacuated and we had a difficult time locating a judge to sign off. On the way to the office, I listened to the news on the radio, but I didn't really comprehend how bad it was until I was back. We all crowded around the television in the conference room and I watched the towers collapse with a sick, sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I watched members of Congress standing on the steps on the Capitol singing "God Bless America," and I felt proud, but I was already wondering how long that spirit would last. I thought about all my friends in the military and I wondered where they would be going and how soon. That's how my day went, back then.

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Thursday, August 10, 2006

Sheer Brass Monkeys

The White House rubs its grubby little hands together with glee at the prospect of political gains from an apparently narrowly-averted brutal terrorist mass-murder. Meanwhile, Big Dick Cheney worries that Connecticut voters are emboldening "the al Qaeda types" by shamelessly refusing to vote for the candidate the White House preferred. One imagines Osama bin Laden in his cave anxiously surfing the blogosphere. "Well, I was gonna call off this whole war against the Great Satan, but now that the Democrats have nominated Ned Lamont, JIHAD!!!"

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Thursday, February 23, 2006

Port Insecurity, Part VI

Turns out the Emir of Dubai, the head of the family that owns Dubai Ports World, is an old hunting buddy of OSAMA BIN LADEN! Where's Dick Cheney when we really need him? Actually, they were hunting with falcons, but still. Thanks to The Daily Kos.

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