The Local Crank

Musings & Sardonic Commentary on Politics, Religion, Culture & Native American Issues. Bringing you the finest in radioactive screeds since 2002! "The Local Crank" newspaper column is distributed by Community Newspaper Holdings, Inc.

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Location: Cleburne, Texas, United States

Just a simple Cherokee trial lawyer, Barkman has been forcing his opinions on others in print since, for reasons that passeth understanding, he was an unsuccessful candidate for state representative in 2002. His philosophy: "If people had wanted me to be nice, they should've voted for me."

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Wanted: Arabic Speakers!

...unless you're teh gay. This is just so stupid it pains me to read it. So when Al Qaeda detonates a dirty bomb in Los Angeles harbor, I can rest easy knowing my government didn't allow any homos to translate the vital clue that might have prevented the whole thing. Because, you know, they might get teh gay all over it. Or something. Idiots.

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2 Comments:

Blogger The AntiChick said...

Ok, you have GOT to start posting drink warnings. 'Teh gay all over it' treated me to a cola sinus lavage... thankyouverymuch.

You're right, it's ludicrous.

8/07/2008 6:05 PM  
Blogger The Local Crank said...

WARNING: You should not read this blog if you have a history of high blood pressure, diabetes or Republicanism, if you are pregnant, nursing or may becomes pregnant, or if you think Glen Beck "tells it like it is." If you experience laughter lasting for more than four hours, listen to Dick Cheney speak until any feelings of joy and happiness are ground into tiny bloody gobbets.

8/08/2008 9:21 AM  

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