Someone Alert Homeland Security!

In a blast from the past, dozens of House members walked out of the chamber, breaking quorum to protest the shabby, petty (and increasingly crumbling) dictatorship of Speaker Tom Craddick.



More from Kuff and BOR and the Observer.

Texas democracy: a full-body contact sport.

Who Does Tom Craddick Think He Is...

...George W. Bush? Apparently, there's a "Unitary Speaker," too. And with an "enemies list," Craddick is apparently channeling the ghost of Dick Nixon, too.
Actually, all this is pretty damned entertaining; reminds me of the old days with Gib Lewis, Gus Mutscher, guys like that. BOR thinks Janek's threat to filibuster the budget is really just water-carrying for Dewhurst, who hates Craddick's guts (hey, get in line!) and knows the Speaker can't survive a special session.
It's too damned bad Molly Ivins isn't still around; she would've loved this.

Eye on Williamson has more. Never fear, though, Mr. Speaker; Dan Patrick has your back. The Texas Observer (pissing off the powerful for 50+ years) has a breakdown on where Craddick's bribe money--excuse me, I mean special higher education appropriations--has gone. Oh, apparently all this has happened before, in 1870. What is it with Republican Speakers of the Texas House? Is there some kind of curse?

Texas Spared Further Legislative "Help" As Session Collapses

• Tom Craddick avoids the fate he so richly deserves. "Bwah hah hahah! You fools! I am now more powerful than ever!" Speaker cackles from his Throne of Skulls while attended by his army of flying monkeys.
• The Dewhurst Voter Suppression Act of 1960 is dead. At least for now...
• Just in case there was any doubt, Arlene Wohlgemuth's herculean efforts to make Texas even more repressive, mean-spirited and gratuitously cruel to children and the poor has succeeded admirably. And the CHIPs cutbacks are really cutting close to home.
• At least it's over...

Craddick Agonistes Strikes Again

• Rep. Byron Cook sez, don't let the door womp you in the ass on your way out.


• The Statesman sez, he's only an asshole in Austin. Really.


• And Jim Pitts rides again

I'll believe it when I see it. Craddick is like a cockroach. And he's also hard to get rid of.

UPDATE: The SS Craddick continues to take on water. Two more formerly secure water-tight bulkheads are breached. Craddick's pet Democrats desert the sinking ship. And despite valiant attempts to plug the leaks with $168 million in bribes--er, special higher education appropriations--her bow is starting to dip beneath the waves.

UPDATE 2: And now the damn lawyers are after him! Wow, Tom Craddick sued for being a petty, bullying, self-important thug! Bet nobody saw that one coming...

Republicans Devour Their Own

Jim Keffer (R-Eastland) announces for Speaker, though he decides against stabbing Caesar in the back immediately. Tom Craddick (R-Fascist Sock Puppet) declines to go quietly into that good night. Keffer and Craddick are, of course, birds of a feather, who fly in circles because they have only a Right wing. A plague on their House.

In other news, David Dewhurst is a chickenshit. Film at eleven.

The Arly's

Redneck Mother makes a convincing case for Debbie Riddle as this year's recipient of the coveted Arlene Wohlgemuth Memorial Award (the "Arly"), as the legislator who best exemplifies Wohlgemuth's example of extremism, obstructionism and just plain meanness. Dan Patrick (last seen ministering to the fallen at Hooters) and Robert Talton have their work cut out for them.

Hat Tip to Capitol Annex!

UPDATE: Miya Shay, the reporter for Houston's ABC 13 who broke the "Dan Patrick only goes there for the buffalo wings" scoop, was kind enough to provide a link to her original post. If you blog this story, please do her the courtesy of using this link.

Republicans Hate Indians

Alaska Republicans want Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne to abolish tribal governments in that state because some of them dare to try to open casinos.

Yeah, I'm shocked, too.

UPDATE: From World-Nut Daily, shorter Doug Phillips: "Since no one from 1607 is still alive, Indians should stop their damn whining about being wiped out by disease and war and having their land stolen and their children kidnapped and blah blah blah! Besides, I'm the real descendent of Princess Pocahontas!"

UPDATE 2: Texas tribes screwed again. And Rep. Will Hartnett calls them "criminals." Kiss my rosy Cherokee ass, Hartnett.

Real People

From BOR, real stories of some of the real people who will be kept from the ballot by the Republicans' voter-suppression bill, HB218. Because, ya know, we're doing such a good job with the voter rolls we have now...

From Our "Irony Is Dead" Department...

...State Rep. Warren Chisum (R-Gitmo) tries to eliminate debate on a "Free Speech" bill. Fortunately, grownups prevailed, albeit barely.

Jessica's Law...

...a bad idea whose time has come. At least until it's declared unconstitutional. I have no problem with getting tough on child sex predators; in fact, as a father, I'm all for it. I was for civil commitment for offenders early on. This bill, however, won't help. Most child victims are victimized by relatives or other people they know. Family members will be much LESS likely to turn a relative in if they know he is going to get a minimum 25 year stretch, or the needle. And for the rarer stranger-abduction cases, this bill makes it more likely than the predators will kill their victims, rather than risk the death penalty. This bill is nothing but a campaign sound-bite for David Dewhurst when he runs for governor in 2010; just another example of politicians mucking with the law for their own self-aggrandizement, and making the most vulnerable among us less safe.

Speaker answers Barkman comments

Dear Editor:
Your paper recently published a column by Patrick Barkman titled "How not to fire US attorneys." The column's author falsely claimed that I "recently killed a provision to create a standing special prosecutor to investigate TYC (Texas Youth Commission) abuses." Three weeks ago, House Bill 472, a bill that would expand the jurisdiction of the special prosecution unit to include the prosecution of crimes committed in TYC facilities, was discovered to contain a technical error while being debated on the House floor. The bill was sent back to the House Corrections Committee, where is was amended and voted out again by the committee last week. it will likely be debated on the floor sometime later this month. Everyone realizes this is an important tool in addressing systemic problems at the TYC; however, it is equally important to insure that the legislation is drafted in a way that will provide the best outcome when prosecuting crimes that occur within the TYC. I anticipate House Bill 472 to pass the House. In light of the recent revelations of the abhorrent behavior at the Texas Youth Commission, it is my hope that this legislation will go toward helping to fix this broken agency.
Sincerely,
Tom Craddick
Speaker of the Texas House

UPDATE: Normally, I don't respond to fan mail, but this release from the Speaker's press-droid is so outrageously false that the very stones themselves cry out for an answer. During the debate in question, House Minority Leader Jim Dunnam offered an amendment to HB 472 that would've created a special prosecutor, not merely codified the ability of district and county attorneys to request one, as in the original language of the bill. The amendment was adopted 75-63 on a bipartisan vote. Rep. Larry Phillips (R-Sherman) then raised a technical objection to the analysis of the bill and one paragraph that accidentally dropped a word or two. The Speaker could have overruled this minor and irrelevant point, but chose instead to sustain it. Thus, a bill that would've gone into effect back in late March still hasn't passed. This delay (and if the bill dies before the session ends, the death of the bill) can be laid, like a flaming bag of dog crap, at the feet of Speaker Tom Craddick.

Vouchers Dead, Dead, Dead

If a Right-Wing Republican dominated Legislature, cowering under the stiletto bootheel of Tom Craddick, can't pass vouchers (or stop a pay raise, however modest, for the liberal, secular humanist, Islamo-fascist teachers), then I think it's safe to say the issue is deader'n a doornail for the forseeable future.
Somewhere, Dr. James Leininger is crying in his bottled organic milk.

The Definition of Insanity...

...is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
So, turns out that the Department of Family and Protective Services (better known as CPS) remains stubbornly still-broken, despite the fact that the Legislature boldly re-arranged the deckchairs on the bureaucratic Titanic two years ago and pronounced everything hunky-dory. So what's Senator Jane Nelson's latest proposal? Why, privitize everything, of course! Because, you know, it worked so well with the Health and Human Services Commission and Accenture...no, wait, I meant charter schools! No, wait! Crap!

Tom Craddick: Backstabbing Poltroon

He also hates children. Probably puppies and kittens, too.
Okay, Mr. Rose? Mr. Turner? Your assignment is for each of you to write "I will not kiss Tom Craddick's ass" 100 times on the blackboard.

Suffer the Little Children

The TYC Scandal just keeps getting uglier, with a riot by juvenile inmates at the San Saba facility; revelations that official documents were altered, apparently as part of a cover-up; evidence that Perry's new TYC chief, Ed Owens, is already experienced in covering up sex scandals from his time at TDCJ; an internal email that shows "Special Master" Jay Kimbrough has adopted the Bush Doctrine of pre-emptive strikes against the Media; and some excellent research from the Blogosphere that shows that evidence of abuse was known as early as 2004. The Senate Criminal Justice Committee has unanimously (and self-righteously) passed a bill to fire the entire TYC Board, a measure only necessary because our alleged Governor lacks the huevos to do it himself. But on the other side of the Capitol Building, Rep. Jessica Farrar places the blame where it truly belongs: a Legislature that has abandoned its constitutional, moral and ethical duties.
Why do scandals like the TYC fiasco happen? Because the government of Texas doesn't give a fat rat's ass about children. Children don't vote; more importantly, they don't donate money to politicians. And evidently, the people of Texas approve of this, because we keep electing this same impotent gang of craven morons, year after year after year.

And Speaking of Parental Rights...

...State Rep. Robert Talton wants to take ALL of yours away. But don't worry, parents; at least your consciences can remain clean when your daughter contracts cervical cancer.

Warren Chisum: Medieval Troglodyte

Paleo-Conservative Warren Chisum was recently voted Official State Laughingstock of Texas (replacing Rick Perry) for handing out flyers for an organization that believes the sun revolves around the Earth and that evolution is an evil Jewish plot. No, seriously.

I, for one, was impressed that Chisum could take time out of his busy schedule of shutting out any public debate or scrutiny as the Legislature abandons the state Constitution in order to remind us all that Copernicus is part of the "Kabbala-based" conspiracy "that has been at work over many centuries implanting the incredible evolution myth about the origin of the Universe, the Earth, and Mankind."

In the immortal words of the late, great Molly Ivins, you can't make this shit up, folks.

I'm Shocked! Shocked!

Apparently, liquor lobbyists have the Legislature bought and paid for! Who knew?
Certainly, I never suspected it when the Booze Brothers had the state take over liquor regulations from every muncipality, or allowed developers to sue the handful of cities (including Cleburne) that were grandfathered in if they dared to refuse them a license (the only instance I know of where you are allowed to sue the government simply because you don't like their decision).

Folsom Prison Blues

The Legislature appears to be considering a method for dealing with non-violent and drug-addicted offenders a little more subtle than simply building more prisons. This is good news as the current system has done nothing to curb the epidemic of meth addiction that is ravaging Texas.

David Dewhurst: Ignorant or Just Plain Stupid?

You make the call.