Someone Alert Homeland Security!

In a blast from the past, dozens of House members walked out of the chamber, breaking quorum to protest the shabby, petty (and increasingly crumbling) dictatorship of Speaker Tom Craddick.



More from Kuff and BOR and the Observer.

Texas democracy: a full-body contact sport.

Who Does Tom Craddick Think He Is...

...George W. Bush? Apparently, there's a "Unitary Speaker," too. And with an "enemies list," Craddick is apparently channeling the ghost of Dick Nixon, too.
Actually, all this is pretty damned entertaining; reminds me of the old days with Gib Lewis, Gus Mutscher, guys like that. BOR thinks Janek's threat to filibuster the budget is really just water-carrying for Dewhurst, who hates Craddick's guts (hey, get in line!) and knows the Speaker can't survive a special session.
It's too damned bad Molly Ivins isn't still around; she would've loved this.

Eye on Williamson has more. Never fear, though, Mr. Speaker; Dan Patrick has your back. The Texas Observer (pissing off the powerful for 50+ years) has a breakdown on where Craddick's bribe money--excuse me, I mean special higher education appropriations--has gone. Oh, apparently all this has happened before, in 1870. What is it with Republican Speakers of the Texas House? Is there some kind of curse?

Craddick Agonistes Strikes Again

• Rep. Byron Cook sez, don't let the door womp you in the ass on your way out.


• The Statesman sez, he's only an asshole in Austin. Really.


• And Jim Pitts rides again

I'll believe it when I see it. Craddick is like a cockroach. And he's also hard to get rid of.

UPDATE: The SS Craddick continues to take on water. Two more formerly secure water-tight bulkheads are breached. Craddick's pet Democrats desert the sinking ship. And despite valiant attempts to plug the leaks with $168 million in bribes--er, special higher education appropriations--her bow is starting to dip beneath the waves.

UPDATE 2: And now the damn lawyers are after him! Wow, Tom Craddick sued for being a petty, bullying, self-important thug! Bet nobody saw that one coming...

Republicans Devour Their Own

Jim Keffer (R-Eastland) announces for Speaker, though he decides against stabbing Caesar in the back immediately. Tom Craddick (R-Fascist Sock Puppet) declines to go quietly into that good night. Keffer and Craddick are, of course, birds of a feather, who fly in circles because they have only a Right wing. A plague on their House.

In other news, David Dewhurst is a chickenshit. Film at eleven.

Speaker answers Barkman comments

Dear Editor:
Your paper recently published a column by Patrick Barkman titled "How not to fire US attorneys." The column's author falsely claimed that I "recently killed a provision to create a standing special prosecutor to investigate TYC (Texas Youth Commission) abuses." Three weeks ago, House Bill 472, a bill that would expand the jurisdiction of the special prosecution unit to include the prosecution of crimes committed in TYC facilities, was discovered to contain a technical error while being debated on the House floor. The bill was sent back to the House Corrections Committee, where is was amended and voted out again by the committee last week. it will likely be debated on the floor sometime later this month. Everyone realizes this is an important tool in addressing systemic problems at the TYC; however, it is equally important to insure that the legislation is drafted in a way that will provide the best outcome when prosecuting crimes that occur within the TYC. I anticipate House Bill 472 to pass the House. In light of the recent revelations of the abhorrent behavior at the Texas Youth Commission, it is my hope that this legislation will go toward helping to fix this broken agency.
Sincerely,
Tom Craddick
Speaker of the Texas House

UPDATE: Normally, I don't respond to fan mail, but this release from the Speaker's press-droid is so outrageously false that the very stones themselves cry out for an answer. During the debate in question, House Minority Leader Jim Dunnam offered an amendment to HB 472 that would've created a special prosecutor, not merely codified the ability of district and county attorneys to request one, as in the original language of the bill. The amendment was adopted 75-63 on a bipartisan vote. Rep. Larry Phillips (R-Sherman) then raised a technical objection to the analysis of the bill and one paragraph that accidentally dropped a word or two. The Speaker could have overruled this minor and irrelevant point, but chose instead to sustain it. Thus, a bill that would've gone into effect back in late March still hasn't passed. This delay (and if the bill dies before the session ends, the death of the bill) can be laid, like a flaming bag of dog crap, at the feet of Speaker Tom Craddick.

Tom Craddick: Backstabbing Poltroon

He also hates children. Probably puppies and kittens, too.
Okay, Mr. Rose? Mr. Turner? Your assignment is for each of you to write "I will not kiss Tom Craddick's ass" 100 times on the blackboard.

Craddick Beats House Into Submission

Craven Republicans beg for mercy from their newly re-annointed Dread Overlord as he is carried into the Royal Chamber on a golden litter borne by 14 stout Democratic bootlickers. Once again, from the Dick Cheney White House, to Tom DeLay, to Tom Craddick, we see very clearly what it takes to be a Republican today: have your spine removed and become a lickspittle minion. That rumbling sound you hear? That's Abraham Lincoln spinning in his grave at the transformation of the GOP into a gang of cowardly, toadying sycophants. Pathetic.

Craddick Agonistes

Tom Craddick's desperate fight to hang on to his gold-plated crapper is lovingly detailed by Kuff. This is a tough choice, from a purely partisan political viewpoint: on the one hand, I don't care much for Jim Pitts, but with him as Speaker, Democrats can at least expect their floggings to be limited to once per week. They may even be allowed to introduce and vote on legislation. On the other hand, nothing would help Democrats more than that venal blood-thirsty autocrat Craddick as the public face of the party in the Legislature for another two years.

A Tale of Two Speakers

In Washington, Nancy Pelosi took over as the first female Speaker of the House and pushed through her promised ethics reform package. Despite the many hosannas being sung, it isn't perfect and still contains some loopholes. It's a good start from a practical standpoint, though, and from a political standpoint, it helps link "Democrats" and "reform" (and by extension, "Republicans" and "corruption") in the public consciousness. The MSM will be watching the new Congress closely, alert for the slightest hint of hypocrisy. When ethical problems erupt, Democrats must act swiftly and decisively. If William Jefferson is indicted, he needs to be expelled from the House so fast it makes his refrigerator spin. If it had been up to me, he wouldn't even be in the Caucus now.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Tom Craddick clings desperately to power, learning that it is not always better to be feared than loved. He's not the worst Speaker of the Texas House (my vote would be either Gib Lewis or Gus Mustcher), but he is the best current symbol of the worst in Lone Star politics--vicious, unethical, power-mad. I can easily see him, as one blog poster noted, destroying the Republican Party in trying to save himself. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

UPDATE: This is exactly the kind of thing that Congressional Democrats need to be avoiding, not lamely spinning.

Republicans STILL Hate Children

The political ghost of Arlene Wohlgemuth continues to block thousands of needy children from easy access to affordable healthcare due to bureacratic barricades in the CHIP program. And if Perry and Craddick stay in power, you can expect more of the same.

Rob Orr Accidentally Blunders Into Issue

Spokesflunky ghost-excretes inane, rambling press release promising a government study to discover why repeatedly underfunding the Department of Parks & Wildlife leads mysteriously to less money for that agency. Orr pledges to end the "crisis in our state parks" by paving them over as part of the Trans Texas Cash Trough. Observers voice amazement that Orr appeared to be actually speaking, even though Speaker of the House Tom Craddick was drinking a glass of water!

Tom Craddick's Gold-Plated Crapper

From the Capitol Annex. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Tom Craddick (so far the highest-ranking government official I know I have cheesed off) is a venal, mendacious little creep; a petty, petulant, legislative bully who kowtows to bigger thugs (such as Tom DeLay) with the kind of obsequiousness usually reserved for Byzantine Emperors. If there was ever a perfect symbol for Craddick's hopefully soon-to-be-ended tenure as Speaker, surely it's a $1,000 toilet.

Republicans Hate Kids

Speaker and jacked-up little tin dictator Tom Craddick has rammed through a rule to limit amendments to the school financing reform proposal. This will have the effect of preventing any use of the surplus to increase teacher pay, or spend more money on schools or textbooks.